Staying Afloat

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I'm heading out of town unexpectedly and quickly for a funeral. The past 24 hrs have been more about me handling the logistics of leaving town on such short notice, than me processing what is actually going on- but I think that's part of the reason that I need to leave town- to breathe and grieve and be there for my extended family during a tough time. I thought that now would be as good of a time as ever to re post something from last summer about staying organized when your mind is elsewhere. Our family is definitely following all 4 of these suggestions over the next few days.

silent shot-flickr creative commons

 I know I'm not alone in occasionally feeling "down in the dumps" and lost in worry over things I have no control over. But I've found that during these times when I become pre-occupied with my own thoughts, it's hard to stay on top of things in the same way that I usually would.


Our brains are only capable of holding and processing so much information at one time, and when a large portion of your consciousness is being consumed with worry (or whatever), it can be easy to drop the ball in another area. Since we all have bad days- and we all have lives that we must maintain even in the midst of a tough time- I thought I might share a few tips to stay organized when you are otherwise pre-occupied.

#1) Write it down
Even if you aren't normally the type of person that needs to keep a Calendar or a To Do List, when your mind is elsewhere, you are bound to forget things. Keep important dates, appointments, and lists someplace where you (and your family) can see them often so that you are all reminded of upcoming events.

#2) Lower your standards...
Especially if you know the distraction to be temporary, give yourself permission to let go of some of your normal routines. Grabbing take-out instead of cooking, or forgoing the weekly tub scrubbing isn't going to hurt anyone or anything. If cheating a little bit gives you the room to breathe that you need- take it!

#3) But don't lower them too much
When I'm upset I don't want to do anything. But doing something is sometimes the only thing that makes me feel better. So even if you have to drag yourself up and force yourself through a task- you might find that once you've started, you can easily keep going. Start with something that you sort of enjoy (if exercise is part of your normal routine, go for a short walk outside), and then tack on a few things that you know you need to do at the end. Sometimes faking a smile will help you to find a real one, and I've found that scrubbing the heck out of something really dirty is a great way to relieve stress and let out anger.  

#4) Ask for help, offer help, or both
If people know that you are struggling with something, they are bound to say, "Let me know if you need anything," but if you don't feel like sharing your news or sharing your burden, you might find relief by offering help first. Offer to take the 1st shift in the carpool so that you are guaranteed a free pass later on. Or, host a sleepover for your daughter and her besties.When the favor is returned, use that time to catch up on the things you are behind on (even if one of those things is sleep). Offer to do something extra that you don't mind doing at all, and then get help with the tasks you dread (or physically can't do if health is an issue).

When we're in the midst of a crisis, major or mini, organizing can be the last thing on anyone's mind. But having control of your surroundings, during a time when you can't control much else, might provide just the mental relief you were looking for.